Red

I lost him.

How could I let this happen? I don't even know what exactly happened. It was so suddenly. All I remember is that we were on the beach, looking at the blue of the sea. I saw myself with him, but then, he disappeared, and I was all alone. I forgot how it felt to be lonely. Actually, I forgot everything that made me feel bad. All my routine was based on him.

Not anymore.

I can't even be angry at him. It would make things so easier. But everything that's running in my head now comes in flashback and echoes; our memories together. Like when you were driving around with your Maserati and I was singing the song that was playing on the radio, while feeling the wind on my face. And all the times that I hugged you, my thoughts were just about how perfect you were to me. I still remember everything you told me about yourself; it's not hard at all, since you used to be like my old favorite song. When you like something, it's easy to remember all the little details about it. And when we had those fights, nothing made sense to me. We should have realized that there was no right or wrong.

We had something so strong, and now the pain has the same strength. And it hurts so much. Do I deserve this just because our love has grown up a lot? Maybe that's the payment. But it's a bit unfair.  But I have to understand that now it's gone. Everything we had, now it's thrown away on the sea, and it's far from us.

However, I still can't understand how you pass by my side and look like nothing happened. Why am I the only one who still has the wound? I can't forget you while those memories are still in my head.  

Days passed, months passed, and I still can see only two colors in my days: the dark grey of the clouds in those rainy days, and the color red, of the blood that's still dripping down my heart; the same color of my lipstick you used to love.