Thursday, March 26, 2015

The breaking down from inside the Army Barrack


I was dawn when I had to wake up. The Sky was dark just like my thoughts. I had no idea of what was going to happen. The truth is, when you are eighteen years old, you have to talk to the Brazilian Army. I had to.

When I got there I saw myself in a nonsense line. God, I was so nervous. The breaking dawn wasn’t making me happier. It was the worst sun rising ever. I saw it through that cage in the window. Some parents were outside, two shirtless guys selling water...

I looked forward. Tem lines of men were in front of me And me, with my 5.9 ft, I felt like a dwarf among giants. So many men. Some of them were looking brave, other just didn’t fit the place, and me, I was in panic.

They were men. Me? No, I was no man. I was just a little boy. A kid. A child who could be wearing a Pokemon T-Shirt, holding a puppet and using sandals like Tom Sawyer but without looking like him.
I tried looking for other boys. I saw one, lines in front of me, looking down, staring at men much taller than him.

I heard some boys making fun of the officials. I was afraid for them. How dare them? Measuring strenght with someone Who holds a weapon... I’d never do that.

Finally, I understood what I was doing there. I was afraid, and my fear was looking like confidence. I was supposed to be the boy that would never give answers, would do anything they asked, even if I couldn’t. I was the perfect official. And they noticed that.


I was already feeling the uniform’s weight on my shoulders. I felt the responsibility of wearing it. The hardship of training. And when the noon sun lighted my face, I knew that I’d have to see, one more time, the breaking dawn from inside the barrack.

Original: "MENINO OFICIAL" - VIEIRA, Guilherme Moraes


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